I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
