very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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