I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
