The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
