Say something about gay babies.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
My bed smells like the plague
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize