Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
