I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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