I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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