Please, let me fuck your mom
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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