dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
