he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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