I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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