It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
