It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
