Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(347): View more from New York

Need sex. Gaining weight.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"

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(337): View more from Louisiana

The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha

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(773): View more from Illinois

Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.

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(614): View more from Ohio

not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.

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(646): View more from New York

I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.

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