ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize