respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
