Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
