I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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