It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
