i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
