He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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