When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
