Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
