Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
