Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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