This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
