Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
