It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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