she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
