If that was your dad, he is hot
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
