I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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