I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize