I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
