he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
wow bdsm is so cute
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
