i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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