did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Randomize
