angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
