I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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