my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
