We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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