if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
