I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
