Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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