just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
