You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Randomize