Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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