There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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