I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
