You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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