Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
