So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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