What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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