At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
