We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
