I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
