Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
only you would photoshop your dick
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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