barbara walters just said penis...
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
