its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
