I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
