I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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