The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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