it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
