i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
