I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
