I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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