And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Found the puke drawer
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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