and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
