do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
