pop tarts are not kleenex
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
