New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
