Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You ruined the universe
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
